So, I recently wrote about how we felt when we first discovered I was pregnant. We had a lot of worries about how we would cope with three kids under five. Was all that stress (and an international move!) warranted?
Well, I think the answer is yes and no.
Overall, the transition to a third child has, so far, been easier than the second. I think we've been coping really well, but it's possibly because we were able to make all those changes and set ourselves up for success.
Lessan's family was really helpful for us around the time of the birth. They have since left, but we feel like there is a lot we still have here that makes us feel well supported.
For example, the fact that Lessan is working from home is really helping us stay sane. One reason is that bedtime can be a bloomin' nightmare. Okay, not a nightmare, because that would involve sleeping. After the move, the kids took a long time to get into a good routine and it got disrupted again after the baby came. Ella stopped sleeping through the night, Thomas refused to stay in his room. Putting three kids to bed, at our house at least, is like playing "Whac-a-Mole" for hours on end. You know that game where you have to keep hammering down little moles that come out of holes. Once Joseph was born, he would be up and down round the clock, anyway, so most of our evenings are a total right-off in terms of Lessan and I doing much. This is why Lessan working from home has been so wonderful for us at the moment - on the days that Thomas and Ella both go to kindy, Lessan and I have an hour or so to just spend together. We just wouldn't get much time to be together, otherwise, and I think that would be really tough on our marriage. Also, the fact that Lesan is at home means that I can occasionaly leave Joseph at home if he is asleep to run an errand. I feel a lot less trapped at home than I used to, even though there's one more kid!
Another important aspect has been the fact that Thomas and Ella are going to kindergarten - Thomas 5 days a week, 8.30am - 3.30pm, Ella three days. This gives me time to write a blog post like this once in a while, but mostly just catch up on housework and go grocery shopping! And they really like their kindergartens! They are really good quality care environments and their behaviour at home is better than it was before as a result.
I feel really busy and tired most of the time. Joseph is still waking through the night MANY times. Ella is getting into everything (hello "terrible" twos!), Thomas is still having his lovely meltdowns and things are often messy and difficult in our house, but I am coping and generally happy!
I think that is in big part because of us living in a pleasant house, nice town, with Lessan working from home and he is also getting better at helping around the house, plus the extra childcare. I also feel that the more kids you have, the more skills you develop. I'm figuring out new ways to get things done with kids around, how to manage the logistics of attending to different needs, accepting that there will be chaos and just letting go of stuff. In a way, it's been easier to relax when having a third child because I've lowered my expectations of what I should be doing and that makes me feel less pressured.
We don't at all regret all the changes that have taken place over the last year. We feel like it was somehow meant to be. Joseph is such an angelic little boy. Really very chilled most of the time. Happy to sit in his pram when we go out, happy to lie on the floor and explore and handles many knocks from his siblings pretty well. We love him so much and couldn't imagine life without him! And, in a way, it makes us feel like we could have a fourth at some point down the line, but I'd also like to work or study at some point...so we're back where we were two years ago in that regard.
Well, I think the answer is yes and no.
Overall, the transition to a third child has, so far, been easier than the second. I think we've been coping really well, but it's possibly because we were able to make all those changes and set ourselves up for success.
Lessan's family was really helpful for us around the time of the birth. They have since left, but we feel like there is a lot we still have here that makes us feel well supported.
For example, the fact that Lessan is working from home is really helping us stay sane. One reason is that bedtime can be a bloomin' nightmare. Okay, not a nightmare, because that would involve sleeping. After the move, the kids took a long time to get into a good routine and it got disrupted again after the baby came. Ella stopped sleeping through the night, Thomas refused to stay in his room. Putting three kids to bed, at our house at least, is like playing "Whac-a-Mole" for hours on end. You know that game where you have to keep hammering down little moles that come out of holes. Once Joseph was born, he would be up and down round the clock, anyway, so most of our evenings are a total right-off in terms of Lessan and I doing much. This is why Lessan working from home has been so wonderful for us at the moment - on the days that Thomas and Ella both go to kindy, Lessan and I have an hour or so to just spend together. We just wouldn't get much time to be together, otherwise, and I think that would be really tough on our marriage. Also, the fact that Lesan is at home means that I can occasionaly leave Joseph at home if he is asleep to run an errand. I feel a lot less trapped at home than I used to, even though there's one more kid!
Another important aspect has been the fact that Thomas and Ella are going to kindergarten - Thomas 5 days a week, 8.30am - 3.30pm, Ella three days. This gives me time to write a blog post like this once in a while, but mostly just catch up on housework and go grocery shopping! And they really like their kindergartens! They are really good quality care environments and their behaviour at home is better than it was before as a result.
I feel really busy and tired most of the time. Joseph is still waking through the night MANY times. Ella is getting into everything (hello "terrible" twos!), Thomas is still having his lovely meltdowns and things are often messy and difficult in our house, but I am coping and generally happy!
I think that is in big part because of us living in a pleasant house, nice town, with Lessan working from home and he is also getting better at helping around the house, plus the extra childcare. I also feel that the more kids you have, the more skills you develop. I'm figuring out new ways to get things done with kids around, how to manage the logistics of attending to different needs, accepting that there will be chaos and just letting go of stuff. In a way, it's been easier to relax when having a third child because I've lowered my expectations of what I should be doing and that makes me feel less pressured.
We don't at all regret all the changes that have taken place over the last year. We feel like it was somehow meant to be. Joseph is such an angelic little boy. Really very chilled most of the time. Happy to sit in his pram when we go out, happy to lie on the floor and explore and handles many knocks from his siblings pretty well. We love him so much and couldn't imagine life without him! And, in a way, it makes us feel like we could have a fourth at some point down the line, but I'd also like to work or study at some point...so we're back where we were two years ago in that regard.
No comments:
Post a Comment