So, it's happening again! I'm on my second journey through pregnancy. It's still very early days - I'm only 7 weeks, so I know that it might not work out, so I'm not announcing it widely just yet (hardly anyone reads this blog, so no worries on that front). It certainly feels quite different the second time around, but first let's talk a bit about the pre-conception period.
From the time our first child, Thomas, was about 3 months old, we started wishing for another child. He was so sweet and we thought, why wait too long to have another! We looked into age gaps, pros and cons and decided that 18 months or less as an age gap would be quite nice because the first child would be less likely to experience too much jealousy because he would be too young to remember being an only child. This was one idea we liked, anyway, but by the same token, we were engaged in a project that would make having another child right away a bit challenging and we weren't sure how we'd cope. So, in the end, nature made it easy for us. Basically, I couldn't have fallen pregnant much earlier than I did because until recently, I wasn't even fertile.
I was breastfeeding Thomas full time until he was 8 months. We introduced solids at that time and even at that time, he was still subsisting primarily on breast milk, having just a few spoonfuls of food every other day at first. He wasn't eating three solid meals a day until 12 or 13 months. This, and the fact that until a few days ago, he was also still feeding often at night, is probably why I didn't get my period back until Thomas was 14 months old (a part from an initial one at 6 weeks, which I've heard can be anovulatory).
I'd read that it could take three cycles or more after menstruation returns to actually become fertile - that is, for you to ovulate and also have a few other things that would support pregnancy. So, once we were in a place in our lives (and in the world, i.e., back in Australia!) where we thought it would be okay to start trying, I was curious to see if I was actually ovulating. We bought an ovulation predictor test kit and that helped me reassure myself that I was fertile. We used that for one month without trying, actually, partly because I wanted more time to prepare my body for pregnancy - get those pelvic floor muscles in shape and eat better food that would support a healthier microbiome! I did a fair bit of research about preconception diets, because I realized that that can have quite an impact on health. I had been trying to eat well for a while, but in reality, no major dietary changes took place and then we started trying the next cycle. The plan was also to use the ovulation predictor test to help use the "Shettles Method" of sex selection to try for a girl.
According to Dr. Shettles, insemination on different days of the menstrual cycle results in different gender ratios. He proposed that you were more likely to conceive a girl if you have sex often leading up to ovulation, but stop two days or so before ovulation. This is so that the slower swimming, but longer living 'female' sperm will still be there by the time the egg descends, whereas the faster swimming, but shorter lived 'male' sperm will have died out by the time ovulation occurs. If you want to try for a boy, than it is theorized that you should have sex only at ovulation. This theory was popular in the 1970's, but is now considered to be untrue. But, hey, we thought we'd give it a go. That was, until we had a couple of days where we were busy and couldn't do it, and wondered whether we may have stopped too soon and missed our opportunity for pregnancy completely (for that cycle), so we decided to do it again on ovulation day. I told my mum about all this and, being an avid believer in the Shettles method, she's decided we're having a boy! Oh well. We're perfectly fine with that possibility. We love boys too! Anyway, we'll have to wait and see when he/she's born! That's right, born! I'm hoping to wait this time as I hear it can be a wonderful experience to discover the sex of the baby at birth! Hopefully an ultrasound technician won't spoil the surprise at some point!
So, after the infamous 'two-week wait' (which I handled a lot better this time round), I did a test and saw a second very faint, but still visible, line, indicating pregnancy! We were very excited that our efforts had had the desired result. For the next two weeks, I was feeling pretty good health-wise. Still energetic and no nausea yet. This didn't worry me, as it did last time, because I know now that nausea doesn't usually turn up until 6 weeks. And, anyway, it doesn't have to turn up either! But, sure enough, morning sickness did start to appear at 6 weeks. Not too severely. I have only vomited two or three times and I still feel quite well for large chunks of the day as long as I eat regularly, rest enough and get some exercise and fresh air. The exercise part seems surprising, because that's not what you feel like doing when nauseous, but apparently it really helps your body process the extra estrogen floating around the system, which is probably to blame for the nausea. I've also noticed that taking my prenatal supplements makes me much more nauseous, so I've stopped taking them for the last few days. My mum says she has a condition whereby she doesn't absorb many vitamins from supplements and this may be the case for me too? I'm not really sure what to do about this because I'm not sure my diet is rich enough to go without supplementation.
I also mentioned rest. It's a bit harder to rest whenever I want when I have a toddler to chase! He wants me to pick him up, play games with him and take him out to the park and this can get challenging if I'm really feeling sick. All in all, though, I think those things are good for me because it forces me to be active. I'm also quite lucky that he usually has a long 3 hour nap in the day and I can usually sleep at that time. At night, up until recently, Thomas would be breastfed to sleep and then when he woke up, anywhere from midnight to 3am, I would take him to bed with me and breastfeed him any time he woke up. This was working quite well for us until one night. The nausea was particularly bad, I was tired and it was hot and at that moment, breastfeeding just made the nausea came on stronger such that I had to leave a crying Thomas in his cot and go and vomit. My husband, Lessan, took over for the rest of the night. Thomas cried a lot since I think he was distressed wondering what happened to his mummy, but since that night, we continued the regime of Daddy taking over night-time duty and Thomas has adapted very well to this (being night-weaned). He drinks some water from a bottle every now and then and is starting to sleep better. We hope that we can encourage him to sleep through the night, at least by the time his sibling arrives!
Thomas is still breastfeeding in the day, but far less than before (maybe three or four times) and I have noticed that in the last week my supply has plummeted - probably a combination of pregnancy hormones and the sudden night-weaning. I had hoped that I'd be able to breastfeed him until he's 2, maybe more, but we've gotten at least this far (20 months), which is not bad, and I think we'll make it further.
In terms of how I feel emotionally about this pregnancy, I feel a lot more relaxed than last time. I'm not rushing to the Doctor's office to confirm that I'm pregnant. I'm pretty sure that's the case because I still haven't had a period and certainly have all the symptoms. I'll see one eventually, but I'm taking my time for now. Last time, I rushed to find a caregiver and, given the situation in Bosnia, I ended up with an OB-GYN who convinced me I needed an ultrasound at 6 weeks to confirm that the baby was in the uterus and not elsewhere (ectopic pregnancy) and then had another reason to do an ultrasound every few weeks after that! This time I am having minimal ultrasounds!
I'm also looking forward to having the baby more this time. Last time, everything was novel and I was savouring the experience of pregnancy (mostly once the nausea had subsided). I was also pretty scared of the birth and also of becoming a mother and not knowing what to expect, so I was happy for the baby to take its time gestating. This time, though I still have some fears perhaps, I'm much more relaxed about those things and therefore feel a bit more impatient about how long the pregnancy is going to take (that is if it is a viable pregnancy after all!).
I would definitely like to have more of a spiritual aspect for this newly created being to draw from too! In fact, I need that in general. It's being harder to keep up with prayers and reading since Thomas has been around, but I really should find more creative ways to make that happen since he is certainly more independent and I have more help around me now, too!
I guess that's about it for now. We'll see when/if I get to give another update!
From the time our first child, Thomas, was about 3 months old, we started wishing for another child. He was so sweet and we thought, why wait too long to have another! We looked into age gaps, pros and cons and decided that 18 months or less as an age gap would be quite nice because the first child would be less likely to experience too much jealousy because he would be too young to remember being an only child. This was one idea we liked, anyway, but by the same token, we were engaged in a project that would make having another child right away a bit challenging and we weren't sure how we'd cope. So, in the end, nature made it easy for us. Basically, I couldn't have fallen pregnant much earlier than I did because until recently, I wasn't even fertile.
I was breastfeeding Thomas full time until he was 8 months. We introduced solids at that time and even at that time, he was still subsisting primarily on breast milk, having just a few spoonfuls of food every other day at first. He wasn't eating three solid meals a day until 12 or 13 months. This, and the fact that until a few days ago, he was also still feeding often at night, is probably why I didn't get my period back until Thomas was 14 months old (a part from an initial one at 6 weeks, which I've heard can be anovulatory).
I'd read that it could take three cycles or more after menstruation returns to actually become fertile - that is, for you to ovulate and also have a few other things that would support pregnancy. So, once we were in a place in our lives (and in the world, i.e., back in Australia!) where we thought it would be okay to start trying, I was curious to see if I was actually ovulating. We bought an ovulation predictor test kit and that helped me reassure myself that I was fertile. We used that for one month without trying, actually, partly because I wanted more time to prepare my body for pregnancy - get those pelvic floor muscles in shape and eat better food that would support a healthier microbiome! I did a fair bit of research about preconception diets, because I realized that that can have quite an impact on health. I had been trying to eat well for a while, but in reality, no major dietary changes took place and then we started trying the next cycle. The plan was also to use the ovulation predictor test to help use the "Shettles Method" of sex selection to try for a girl.
According to Dr. Shettles, insemination on different days of the menstrual cycle results in different gender ratios. He proposed that you were more likely to conceive a girl if you have sex often leading up to ovulation, but stop two days or so before ovulation. This is so that the slower swimming, but longer living 'female' sperm will still be there by the time the egg descends, whereas the faster swimming, but shorter lived 'male' sperm will have died out by the time ovulation occurs. If you want to try for a boy, than it is theorized that you should have sex only at ovulation. This theory was popular in the 1970's, but is now considered to be untrue. But, hey, we thought we'd give it a go. That was, until we had a couple of days where we were busy and couldn't do it, and wondered whether we may have stopped too soon and missed our opportunity for pregnancy completely (for that cycle), so we decided to do it again on ovulation day. I told my mum about all this and, being an avid believer in the Shettles method, she's decided we're having a boy! Oh well. We're perfectly fine with that possibility. We love boys too! Anyway, we'll have to wait and see when he/she's born! That's right, born! I'm hoping to wait this time as I hear it can be a wonderful experience to discover the sex of the baby at birth! Hopefully an ultrasound technician won't spoil the surprise at some point!
So, after the infamous 'two-week wait' (which I handled a lot better this time round), I did a test and saw a second very faint, but still visible, line, indicating pregnancy! We were very excited that our efforts had had the desired result. For the next two weeks, I was feeling pretty good health-wise. Still energetic and no nausea yet. This didn't worry me, as it did last time, because I know now that nausea doesn't usually turn up until 6 weeks. And, anyway, it doesn't have to turn up either! But, sure enough, morning sickness did start to appear at 6 weeks. Not too severely. I have only vomited two or three times and I still feel quite well for large chunks of the day as long as I eat regularly, rest enough and get some exercise and fresh air. The exercise part seems surprising, because that's not what you feel like doing when nauseous, but apparently it really helps your body process the extra estrogen floating around the system, which is probably to blame for the nausea. I've also noticed that taking my prenatal supplements makes me much more nauseous, so I've stopped taking them for the last few days. My mum says she has a condition whereby she doesn't absorb many vitamins from supplements and this may be the case for me too? I'm not really sure what to do about this because I'm not sure my diet is rich enough to go without supplementation.
I also mentioned rest. It's a bit harder to rest whenever I want when I have a toddler to chase! He wants me to pick him up, play games with him and take him out to the park and this can get challenging if I'm really feeling sick. All in all, though, I think those things are good for me because it forces me to be active. I'm also quite lucky that he usually has a long 3 hour nap in the day and I can usually sleep at that time. At night, up until recently, Thomas would be breastfed to sleep and then when he woke up, anywhere from midnight to 3am, I would take him to bed with me and breastfeed him any time he woke up. This was working quite well for us until one night. The nausea was particularly bad, I was tired and it was hot and at that moment, breastfeeding just made the nausea came on stronger such that I had to leave a crying Thomas in his cot and go and vomit. My husband, Lessan, took over for the rest of the night. Thomas cried a lot since I think he was distressed wondering what happened to his mummy, but since that night, we continued the regime of Daddy taking over night-time duty and Thomas has adapted very well to this (being night-weaned). He drinks some water from a bottle every now and then and is starting to sleep better. We hope that we can encourage him to sleep through the night, at least by the time his sibling arrives!
Thomas is still breastfeeding in the day, but far less than before (maybe three or four times) and I have noticed that in the last week my supply has plummeted - probably a combination of pregnancy hormones and the sudden night-weaning. I had hoped that I'd be able to breastfeed him until he's 2, maybe more, but we've gotten at least this far (20 months), which is not bad, and I think we'll make it further.
In terms of how I feel emotionally about this pregnancy, I feel a lot more relaxed than last time. I'm not rushing to the Doctor's office to confirm that I'm pregnant. I'm pretty sure that's the case because I still haven't had a period and certainly have all the symptoms. I'll see one eventually, but I'm taking my time for now. Last time, I rushed to find a caregiver and, given the situation in Bosnia, I ended up with an OB-GYN who convinced me I needed an ultrasound at 6 weeks to confirm that the baby was in the uterus and not elsewhere (ectopic pregnancy) and then had another reason to do an ultrasound every few weeks after that! This time I am having minimal ultrasounds!
I'm also looking forward to having the baby more this time. Last time, everything was novel and I was savouring the experience of pregnancy (mostly once the nausea had subsided). I was also pretty scared of the birth and also of becoming a mother and not knowing what to expect, so I was happy for the baby to take its time gestating. This time, though I still have some fears perhaps, I'm much more relaxed about those things and therefore feel a bit more impatient about how long the pregnancy is going to take (that is if it is a viable pregnancy after all!).
I would definitely like to have more of a spiritual aspect for this newly created being to draw from too! In fact, I need that in general. It's being harder to keep up with prayers and reading since Thomas has been around, but I really should find more creative ways to make that happen since he is certainly more independent and I have more help around me now, too!
I guess that's about it for now. We'll see when/if I get to give another update!
