Ella's Birth Story

My birthing space

As a bit of background, we were planning a homebirth, as we had had with Thomas.  This time; however, we were on a government programme called the "Midwifery Group Practice" through Bunbury hospital.  This programme is for hospital and homebirths with a known midwife, but homebirths are only allowed for very low-risk pregnancies.  I was really grateful that throughout the pregnancy I had been well and there were no risk factors whatsoever.

My plan for getting through the labour naturally included preparing physically through yoga and exercises like squats, preparing mentally through mindful meditation and setting up my birthing space with positive affirmations and inspiring quotations on the wall, mood lighting, a playlist of calming music as well as shelves full of everything we might need for the birth.  I had comfort measures on hand like a ball to rock and lean on, a bean bag, a portable camping toilet (so I wouldn't have to walk too far to go to the loo),  a "birthing blend" to diffuse and also to use for massage, plenty of hot packs and of course, the birth pool. I also worked with my husband and doula to see if they could help me with massage, acupressure points and many other things. In summary, everything was ready to go.  All that was needed was for my body to go into labour!

In my previous post, I talked about the weeks and days leading up to the birth.  In it, I explain how we had a feeling that baby would come on 5 September (that's six days past the due date). The night before (Friday 4th September) we had been acting like it would happen the next day, but with no real reason to believe it would.

Nevertheless, that Friday night, just after falling asleep at say, 10pm, I started having contractions! They were definitely contractions because they were a kind of sharp cramp in my lower uterus. I was comfortable enough to lie down during them, but it helped to focus on my breathing a bit and wait for it to pass.  I got up a bit more than usual that night to go to the toilet, walk around and also do fast hip circles on the exercise ball (spinning babies suggests that helps babies to engage).  I still managed to sleep a fair bit between contractions, but I think that most of them were too strong to sleep through. I was excited that things were starting to happen.  Of course, there was always the possibility this was a false alarm, but I had a feeling it wasn't.  There was also a bit of wondering how long the labour would last and how much worse the pain would get, but I tried not to worry about that.

In the morning, I got up and made myself a good breakfast of eggs on toast and helped Thomas get his breakfast. I was having to concentrate a bit through contractions, but could still move and talk through them if someone spoke to me.  I casually reported the contractions to Lessan and he just said, "Oh, OK!".  Soon after, mum got up and jokingly proclaimed "So, this is the big day!' (because we had all been expecting it to happen that day, despite there being no real proof as to why) and I was happy to reply, "Well, I think it is actually, I've been having contractions throughout the night."  She excitedly gave me a hug.

Lessan looking happy that today is the day!

After breakfast, I decided to lie down in bed and get a bit more rest between contractions, since I hadn't gotten enough sleep over night.  Meanwhile, Mum took Thomas and Olivia out to a park for the morning.  After resting for a while, I decided to time my contractions. They were consistently 8 minutes apart and lasting 40 seconds.  I thought that their being regular was a good sign, so I decided to call the midwife to let her know I was in early labour.  I called my primary midwife's number, but it diverted to a different one who was on call - the one I'd hoped would attend the birth! I asked her if there was any way of knowing how long the labour would last given how regular the contractions were and she didn't know, but said that often, for mums who have other children, things really kick off at night, when the kids have gone to bed.  

At about 10am, I got up and had a shower.  I then just walked around and did some yoga exercises on the rug in the living room and rested a bit.  Even though I didn't feel a huge need for it, I prepared a hot pack for myself (it needed to be boiled in the pan and I wasn't sure others would know how to prepare it if it was needed later).  I then decided to watch a documentary on Netflix about the fashion industry.  I was surprised that I wanted to do that, since the idea of watching a screen during labour was repulsive to me last time.  I assumed that the fact that I could handle it meant that I was earlier in the process, despite the fact that by the end of the film, I was having to really concentrate for contractions.

At about 11am, Lessan takes a photo of my belly between contractions

At about 1pm,  Mum brought Thomas home and Lessan went to take him to sleep.  When he was finished putting Thomas to sleep, I had gone outside to labour in the sunshine and he met me there. I had been timing my contractions again and they were between 6 and 3 minutes apart, lasting as long as a minute, but usually only 40 seconds.  The fact that they were kind of irregular puzzled me.  They were generally closer and stronger, but I was still coping well, so I assumed it was still pre-labour.  We spent a bit of time there together chatting, hugging and kissing.  During contractions I would lean on him and we'd sound/tone together.  'Sounding' is a technique I had heard of in the mindful birthing book - it's basically making a sound like 'ah' or 'oh' or 'om', kind of like chanting, and the partner joins in for support. 

When we got inside, I had a chat with mum and then I decided to labour a bit in the bedroom (where I planned to birth).  I put on my peaceful birthing playlist and tried different positions on the bed.  I tried becoming more meditative, closing my eyes and relaxing, even between contractions.  I was still able to talk between contractions, but doing this seemed to help.  At some point during that time, I started to think it would be a good idea to inflate the pool and asked Lessan to do it.  Mum and Lessan laid out the plastic sheeting and taped it to the floor and then Lessan inflated the pool.  The sound of the pump was rather jarring and I had to work harder to stay relaxed (at this point I was kneeling and leaning forward on pillows on the bed in the same room).  During that time, I was finding it a bit harder to get through the contractions and was experimenting with different mental strategies. I also noticed I was starting to feel hotter.  Soon, I told Lessan I wanted him to actually fill the pool, not just inflate it.  As time went by, I became more insistent that he fill it asap!  I didn't consciously think that I would give birth in the pool, just that I needed the warm water for pain relief.  You see, I had this whole debate in my mind during the whole pregnancy about the theoretical benefits of land versus water births for the microbial transfer and so had considered labouring in the pool, but birthing on dry land.  But, at that moment, I only knew that I was having difficulty coping and the pool was my only option of making things a bit easier.

I think that it was at this time, or perhaps a little earlier, that I first started feeling my cervix expanding.  I had forgotten that feeling, but now that I was having it again, the memory of the sensation seemed ever so familiar from my first labour, and that happened towards the end, though  since it wasn't so clear in my mind exactly when that happened, I was still thinking I may have a long way to go.

Starting to fill the pool

As he began to fill it, I got out of bed and walked around and timed the contractions.  This kind of helped as a distraction.  I had a good app on my phone for that. They were coming every 4-5 minutes and lasting a minute or so.  They were also really strong and I was finding it harder to stay relaxed.  I was breathing faster, moaning a bit and moving in weird ways just to cope. I decided to text the midwife and she called back immediately.  I let her hear in my voice that it was getting more intense and when I told her I wanted to get into the pool, she said she was coming.  A few contractions later, I was desperate to get in for some relief from the intensity of the contractions and so, though the pool wasn't full yet, I got Lessan to help me in.  That feeling of the cervix expanding was stronger and I was starting to feel the urge to bear down, so I suddenly felt like I might give birth before I got in.  I realized I didn't want to do that because the contractions were forcefully pushing on my rather closed vaginal area and it hurt!  I hadn't experienced that to such an extent with Thomas because things had progressed much slower.

Not long before getting in the pool.

Once I got in, I felt a little more relaxed, though I wished the water was warmer.  (It was the right temperature, but the recommended 37.5 degrees was just not warm enough to ease the tightening sensations).  It was now 3:25pm. Lessan was busy running in and out to adjust the water and also help mum out the door, who had just decided it might be time to take Thomas and Olivia out.  I don't think they realized how close the birth was. All of his coming and going made me a bit frustrated, but I tried to focus on the task at hand! Getting through each contraction!

Birthing affirmations and quotations on the wall

One of the first contractions after getting in, I gave in a bit to the urge to push and felt a 'pop'.  I knew that was my waters breaking, as I saw little bits of vernix appear in the birth pool water.  I then put in my finger to see if I could feel the head. Sure enough it was there, about 3cm inside.  I knew from last time that this meant there was no point worrying about if I was fully dilated.  The head was there ready to come!

I had a few more contractions that were a bit 'expulsive' and I asked Lessan to see where the midwife was because I was pushing.  He called her and she said she was 7 minutes away.

I tried lying on my side to slow the birth a bit, but one or two contractions later, the head emerged, but then receded back in.  The midwife still wasn't there.  The realization that I would probably give birth unassisted didn't really worry me.  I was confident that I knew what to do, as the sensations seemed familiar.

I probably could have pushed out the head in one contraction, but I wanted to give my perineum more time to stretch, so I held back and so after emerging once, it retreated back in.  I tried using a bit of clitoral stimulation between this contraction and the next to hopefully bring some more blood to the area and allow it to stretch (tip from midwife, Ina May Gaskin).  It did help and eased the sensations a bit.  In the next contraction the head fully emerged.  It just stayed there and started to rotate (which was a bit of painful sensation).  Then, with the next contraction, I pushed and most of the body came out.  I leant forward and pulled the rest of the baby's body out and up to the surface. She immediately started crying, but she also seemed to have some trouble getting the sounds out, so I was a bit concerned. Thankfully, the midwife arrived just moments later. I yelled at her to hurry in and she quickly reassured us that the baby was fine. She had just probably had some fluid in her lungs because of the fast nature of the birth, but it wasn't too much.

Right after birth

She asked about what had happened and together we tried to figure out what time the birth had occurred.  We guessed 3:55pm, although we later figured out it would have been exactly 3:53pm.  She also asked if we had checked if it was a boy or girl yet.  We hadn't even thought to check! We did, and realized it was a girl! It was a lovely surprise, but at the time it was still a bit surreal to process.  I had planned to cut the umbilical cord after birthing the placenta, but the cord was rather short and it would have been hard to get out of the pool with it being so short (and the MGP programme's guidelines state that it should be done out of water to measure blood loss).  So, in the end, we just stayed in the pool until the cord stopped pulsing.  During this time a second midwife came to help. They clamped the cord and Lessan cut it.

I then had the rather unsavoury task of birthing the placenta.  I tried sitting on our little camping toilet for a while, hoping it would come out, but it just didn't seem ready (from my giving the cord a gentle, little tug).  I was cold and uncomfortable (plus still having strong contractions), so the midwives suggested I could lie on the bed and give Ella a feed while waiting for the placenta.

That was much more pleasant.  Even though the contractions were still strong (and became stronger with breastfeeding and the weight of the baby on my belly). it was much more comfortable lying in my warm, comfy bed, holding my sweet baby.  Eventually, I felt a bigger contraction and announced that I thought the placenta was ready. The midwife helped me get it out with gentle cord traction as I pushed a bit.  It came out in one piece and looking fine! (I didn't see it, actually, but that's what they said).  I felt a lot better with it out!

I think it was when I had gotten in bed that Larissa, our doula arrived.  We hadn't called her until I was in the pool, as I hadn't felt the need for extra help until it was too late for me to be in a state to do anything about it!  She got me a cup of tea, some snacks and drinks and helped the midwives with a few tasks.

From then on, I got to continue lying there, feeding Ella, while the midwives checked how much blood I was losing and tried to make sure that it slowed down.  There was a bit of concern on that front, so they were vigorously massaging my belly as well as some accupressure points on my hand and ankle, whilst getting me to smell clary sage and visualize the 'flower closing'.  It was a bit amusing for me, as I felt fine and didn't really feel like I would bleed to death, but I was nevertheless grateful that they were taking care of it!

When it was clear that my bleeding had slowed, they checked for perineal damage.  There was just a graze going up (towards the urethra) and a small tear going down into the perineum which they thought didn't need stitching.  I was very grateful and surprised that with such a quick birth there wasn't more damage!

The midwives also checked Ella over, checked for tongue and lip tie (she has a small lip tie that's probably not a problem). They weighed her and measured her and also gave her the Vitamin K injection, as we had requested.

Once everything was done, they left us to relax and cuddle in bed! Larissa left soon after, as my parents said they were on their way home and they would be able to help with the clean-up.

We felt amazed and awed at the experience. For most of the labour, I had been coping well and so I thought it was still the early stages.  Only in the last hour or so had it gotten quite intense.  And though the sensations were powerful, I hadn't been traumatized by them. It was simply a matter of working with them as much as possible.  I also hadn't been afraid at all when I realized that I would likely give birth without the midwife.  Though they were stronger than I remembered, the sensations were familiar and I knew what was happening and I was confident I knew what to do once the baby was born (though I wasn't actively thinking about that at the time).  Though I hadn't planned it, I was happy that I got to birth on my own, because having to interact with people, feeling observed and having to have observations taken would have definitely made it harder for me to relax and birth instinctively.  In the end, I felt the midwife arrived at the perfect time - in time to make sure the baby was okay and to help me birth the placenta and bring bleeding under control. 

As I write this, it is days later and I have already started to forget what the labour felt like.  I feel only positivity about how I got through it all so well, how it was so much faster than expected and grateful that Ella and I are both recovering so well.  Of course, I'm loving these first days of discovering who this new little person is and getting plenty of cuddles! The confidence I felt in the birth is also continuing into early mothering and so I'm incredibly grateful that God allowed me to have this experience.

Happy that the hard part was over and getting to cuddle my baby!

Now for Lessan's perspective:

Leading up to the birth, I had felt like we had planned well and we had everything we needed in place (towels, pool equipment, food, the birth plan, the doula, etc). Once the due date past, I felt like there was no need to do any more active thinking about the birth but we could just enjoy the time we had together, as the birth would surely come. I thought as we approached the end of the second week we could start thinking of options, but there was no need to do so before then. It turned out somewhat like that in practice, although Melissa did have lengthy conversations with our support team (midwives and doula) as well as the last-minute viewing of the spinning babies video. None of this was particularly troubling, but I mention it just to picture the mindset I was in at the time.

On the day of the labour I was tired as I hadn't had enough sleep the night before, but when I realized it was actually happening I must have had a burst of adrenaline because as you can see from the photo above, I was very happy. I just wanted to do what needed to be done and help Melissa in any way I could.

As the labour was progressing in the early afternoon, I asked her about our support team and she said she had been in contact with the midwife, and she didn't really feel the need to call the doula yet. I understood where she was coming from, as I could see that she was labouring in peace, just focused on being relaxed through the contractions and there was really nothing anyone could do to help her in any way. No offering of heat packs, no touching of her, no suggestions about positions, no conversations really - none of those would have helped. She knew what she was doing and she needed her space to do it. I also knew what she was doing, having been actively involved in her learning about birth during both labours, so there was nothing mysterious or unknown about what was going on. And anyway, I had my hands full with errands that needed to be done.

Like Melissa, I was also under the impression that the labour would take longer than it did. After setting up the pool I anticipated there would be at least a few hours more before the birth. I didn't actively think about it; I just felt like there's more to go. When Thomas woke up I helped take care of him a little, at least enough to ensure he wasn't coming into the bedroom where Melissa was labouring. When I returned to the bedroom I realized Melissa was quite far along and she made it clearly known she wanted to be in the pool asap.

We hadn't practiced filling in the pool before (we had inflated it so at least we knew it would hold its shape), so I was a little anxious that nothing would go wrong. I also expected the midwife to be there shortly and didn't want it to go over the mandated 37.5 degrees, so I went back and forth a few times to the tap to ensure it was filling up at the right temperature. Then Melissa got in, I called the midwife to check where she was and the doula to ask her to come, and then I realized the hot water was running out - even though it was fully on the hot setting the water coming out of the hose was lukewarm. So I rushed off again to turn off the water, and I filled a pot and put it on the stove on high heat just in case it would be needed later.

By this time Melissa's contractions were very intense, and she was yelling at their peak. It seemed to help her, and it didn't really bother me, but it made me feel more urgently the need to help her in any way, so for one of them I tried 'sounding' with her.

Another errand was to rush to the front door and unlock it, as we don't have a doorbell and wouldn't hear knocking especially with the sound machine on, and I expected the midwife would try opening the door when she arrived.

Another few minutes in the bedroom, and Melissa announced the head was out. Sure enough, I could see it, and it wasn't moving in any way. I walked to the side of the pool infront of her in case I needed to help lift the baby out of the water, but with the next contraction the body came out and Melissa pulled it out herself. I then rushed to get the camera, and we have some video and photos of Ella's first minute or two (see the "right after birth" picture above). Melissa was getting anxious about the baby's breathing, as although it was crying the cry came in fits and starts. I heard a sound outside the bedroom and saw that the midwife had arrived. That was a relief, as just that moment was when we really needed her help.  Up until that point, I don't think there's anything she could have done that would have changed the outcome of the birth.

Lessan holding Ella

In hindsight, I realize it would really have been helpful if I could have been present with Melissa for the last hour or so, just to be there so she would feel accompanied and reassured. We could have called the doula much earlier, just to take care of the errands I had been taking care of. And we could have had the other children taken away earlier, which would have helped reduce the errands I had to run.

But otherwise, I don't think we could have improved much on what happened, it all went so smoothly.

Just one little thing was that we should have bought a new birth pool (or hired one) as the one we got was second-hand and later that night it started leaking (we had decided to empty it the next day). We had to hurriedly empty it and drag its remains out. But that's not so important, in the grand scheme of things.

I'm very happy to be a two-time primary birth support person and to have seen both our children raised out of the water into this world. Sometimes I felt overwhelmed by all the details Melissa was sharing with me, but for the most part it has been very interesting to learn more about birthing and also some of the social issues surrounding birthing rights. While my focus is not to change that - I let Melissa take the lead on that one - I do feel that more husbands need to accompany their wives on this journey and kick off their fathering career by being engaged and present. I really admire and respect mothers. I am especially proud of those who have taken charge of their own birthing and put the effort in to educate themselves about it.

I'm also very happy to have a daughter. I don't know what it means, but I'm looking forward to finding out. And I'm looking forward to expanding the circle of love from three to four, increasing my capacity to love and my understanding of what it means in practice. During the first few years of our marriage, I would feel like I loved Melissa so much it wasn't possible for it to be more, but then it would take a turn and somehow expand. Then with Thomas, after a confusing initial period, I started to fall in love with him, and that has followed a similar path. I anticipate Ella to also open new vistas of affection and dedicated familial service.

Leading up to birth

8 August, 8 months pregnant

For approximately a month leading up to my due date (30 August), I had been sick with what seemed like a never ending flu - I had cold symptoms, then a sinus infection, then a bad cough... it just never seemed to stop. It was hard to manage the normal pregnancy tiredness along with this cold, plus the task of taking care of Thomas.  To make matters worse, everyone in the house also got sick. Days before my due date, both Mum and Lessan were in bed with fevers.  All of this left me feeling very anxious about the impending birth.  I was worried that I would still be sick when I went into labour, or worse, that my body would refuse to go into labour because it was sick and I would have to be induced! I was also very disturbed that my family, who were the ones that were going to help during the homebirth, and afterwards, may be out of action.  All my carefully laid plans that had been in the making for well nigh nine months were crumbling before my eyes.  I had a good cry about all of that with Lessan a few days before my due date and started to come to accept that whatever happened would be the best for me, even if it didn't turn out as I had hoped.  "Nothing save that which profiteth them can befall my loved ones."

29 August, the day before my due date

 The next day (Saturday 28 August) I had a visit from one of the midwives from the programme.  My primary midwife wasn't available, so another one (who happened to me my favourite) came by.  That was 2 days before my due date and there had been no sign of impending labour.  Baby was only 2/5th engaged.  That didn't surprise me since Thomas had come a week past his due date.  But, I was still in a bit of an emotional state, and didn't like the thought of having to be induced, so when she started talking about the options regarding "prolonged pregnancy", I started to cry.  I was still coughing uncontrollably and feeling pretty fluey, so I felt like it was likely I would go overdue, but at the same time, didn't want to have to deal with all the implications of that.  She was very understanding and helped me go through my fears.  After I'd had a bit of a cry, she encouraged me to just relax and enjoy the remaining time I had with my husband and son as a family of three, to get out in the sunshine (the weather had only just begun to improve after days of rain) and try to feel happier.  She also casually mentioned that she had a feeling I would give birth over the following weekend and that she would be at my birth because she was on call that weekend.  That was a nice thought, so I tried to believe that and to follow her advice.

Lessan and Thomas with a mobile crane at Dardanup Heritage Park

During a tractor ride

The next day, we were feeling a little better, so Lessan and I took Thomas out to Dardanup Heritage Park, which was basically a museum of antique tractors, trucks, trains and many other machines. I had thought it was a national park, so it was a complete accident that we ended up there, but Thomas LOVED it.  We couldn't have planned anything better.  It was really nice to do something special with Thomas.  In the next few days, since Lessan had taken time off work to help me (and also because he was still a bit sick) we continued to go out almost every day as a family.  That was really nice and now I look back, I am very grateful for that extra time we had together just the three of us.

I tried to savour this extra time with only one child

On Tuesday 1 September, I went to see an osteopath, Annette Richardson, whom I'd been seeing for a number of weeks to prepare my body for the birth. At previous visits, she had claimed to be able to predict the sex of the baby. She hadn't told me what she thought, but when we said we thought it might be a girl, her face gave the impression that she didn't agree.  She then got out a pendulum to see what 'it thought'... it seemed to think it was a boy and she said "it's just a fun exercise, but you'd be surprised how often the pendulum is right."  We left thinking we were going to have a boy! We got more serious about choosing a boy's name after that.  Anyway, on this particular day, I was hoping that the 'balance' would might kick labour off, as that was something it could do if birth was "imminent", whatever that means.  During the session, Annette said she was 'playing with numbers' and that the number five came out strong.  She thought this meant that the baby would come on the 5th of September, which was the coming Saturday.  This echoed the midwife's prediction, so that gave me more reason to believe it. In a way, though I always knew there was every possibility that the baby would be born before or much later, I wanted to believe that the bub would come that weekend and so I stuck to it.  This belief made me so much more relaxed, since I felt like I didn't need to worry about going too far overdue anymore. I could just enjoy the next few days.

The next day, on Wednesday, I had a visit with my primary midwife.  She saw that the baby was now 3/5th engaged, so I guess it was at least moving down.  It was also in a really good position - left/centre anterior.  There were no other signs of labour, except a few more braxton hicks contractions every now and then and the feeling that baby was moving down. She talked about how if I got to 41 weeks, I should start going to the hospital to have monitoring every few days and asked if I wanted to arrange that.  I said if I hadn't gone into labour by Sunday, I would call, but that I somehow felt it would come by Friday or Saturday.

The website that talks about fetal positioning

The next day was fairly uneventful.  I took Thomas to playgroup in the morning and in the afternoon, Lessan, Thomas and I walked around the neighbourhood a fair bit, partly in the hope that it might move the baby further down (since getting it to engage could kickstart labour).  I also looked up some spinning babies exercises to do that might help.

By the next day, I still hadn't had any signs of labour, such as waters breaking, a "bloody show" (though there had been some mucousy discharge) or any real contractions.  That morning, Lessan and I took Thomas for a long walk to the local shopping centre and back. While Thomas slept later, Lessan and I began watching a spinning babies parents course and did most of the exercises as they were being demonstrated in the video.  Then later, we had a visit from the doula.  We told her that, though there were no real signs of impending labour, we thought it might happen the next day.  She lent me a document about acupressure points and how they could be used as pain relief or to help induce labour.  After she left, I got Lessan to practice using the pain relief acupressure ones on me and then I watched the rest of the spinning babies video, all the while being careful to sit in positions that promoted optimal fetal positioning and also move a lot.  That video kind of scared me, as it talked a lot about possible 'stalls' and difficulties in labour.  At the end, it also showed a little video of some ladies in labour and their screams didn't make me feel too relaxed.  I started to realise that if I thought I might have the baby the next day, perhaps now wasn't the best time to be watching such videos.  Anyway, I tried to relax and go to sleep.

Well... what do you know? Things started to happen soon after that. But that's the subject of the next post.

Almost at the end of pregnancy no.2

So, my last post was about my early weeks of pregnancy and I'm now almost at the end.  Just over a week to go until my estimated due date! So, before this baby is born, I'd like to try to quickly record how the pregnancy has been!

I'm not sure, but I think before my last post, I wrote to the Midwifery Group Practice in Bunbury to try to get a spot for this baby, even before we moved down south (which was shortly after my last post).  I got a response a few weeks later and was eventually accepted onto their program, which is a government funded homebirth (and also hospital) program that allows low-risk women to birth with a known midwife.  My first visit was with a midwife, as well as a student, who assessed whether I met their criteria and also explained how the program worked. The midwife explained that the program was in a state of change and as such, I probably wouldn't meet my primary midwife until the end of my pregnancy and in the meantime would be cared for by a few different ones.  She also noted that, since I had birthed with an independent midwife last time, I might find some aspects of the program challenging, since the guidelines of the program are stricter than how an independent midwife might practice.  I thought about all this and decided that, unless something very challenging came up, or I was starting to feel very strongly about knowing who the midwife would be on the day, I would give the program a go since I felt fairly confident as a second-time mum.

Well, so far, the first midwife's prediction has been accurate.  I had the same midwife for two or three monthly visits, then a string of different ones, then finally in the last month or so I've met my primary midwife, who is new to the team.  Still, she may not be the one who will attend my homebirth. It could be any one four (including her), just depending on who happens to be on call that day.  A second one will also come towards the end.  I have found this aspect a bit challenging - I felt like I had to re-explain my thoughts on things every time I met a new midwife and it was sometimes a struggle to build rapport.  I also wondered for a while what a homebirth with the MGP would practically look like - what are their standard practices during and after the birth?  I was a bit concerned there I might come across something strange, but it was difficult to get a clear picture of that.  That was until I wrote a birth plan. Once I did that, the midwives explained how their standard practices did or didn't fit into how I imagined the birth to happen (and what would happen if complications arose).  They definitely do more checks and have stricter guidelines from what I am accustomed to, but I think I can deal with it.  I'm just hoping that my birth will unfold 'by the book' and so I won't have to worry about it all the other guidelines.  I would have liked a bit more openness on their part to dialogue and learning, but I understand that they are restricted by their guidelines and can't be as much "with women" as they may like to because the system forces them to be "with guideline".

As part of the MGP, I also needed to see a doctor registered with the program a few times.  It turns out that this person would be a member of my care team, would be in touch with the midwives about me, would be the one they go to if there are concerns during the birth and if I transfer to hospital, would be the doctor I'd see, even the one performing a C-section if neccessary (unless they weren't on call at the time).  I saw one doctor a couple of times and then decided to change because the first seemed rather on the conservative side and hard to dialogue with.  I'm pretty happy with the one I changed to, as I feel he isn't offended by me questioning him or putting forward alternative points of view.  Though he doesn't offer the exact perspective I espouse about birth, I think he's probably the best OB-GYN around here and I'm glad to have him on my team!

Anyway, overall, for a government funded program, I have to say it's been a pretty positive experience so far.  I'm grateful for the fact that every visit with the midwives (and even my doctor) has been unhurried, offering ample time for questions and discussion.  They always do their little checks as well, of course, and send me to various tests, like for iron levels, gestational diabetes and more recently, group B strep.  Thankfully, I have been very well during my pregnancy, all tests have come back clear.  Just a bit of low iron, which has lately gone up a bit (but was never dangerously low).  I was especially glad about being GBS negative! Yay! No need for antibiotics or any of that drama!

Now my only concern is going more than 2 weeks past my due date.  Home birth would no longer be supported by the program and I think there would be a fair bit of pressure to induce.  I'm fairly confident that I will go into labour before that time, anyway :)

I've been glad to meet quite a few other pregnant mamas through activities around the region.  Every Tuesday evening I try to go to a pregnancy yoga classs. I really enjoy that as a way to stretch and relax, plus meet some like-minded mamas.  I've also been going to a monthly meeting organized by a couple of doulas held in Eaton called "Bunbury Birth Circle".  Every time, an aspect of childbirth is discussed, with people sharing their experiences with the issue, as well as a few birth stories each time too.

Overall, it's been a fairly smooth and enjoyable pregnancy.  It has sometimes been hard keeping up with my son (now 2) as well as managing colds and flus when they come up for him (as he's prone to asthma), but overall, he is not to hard to take care of.  He is still taking a nap and sleeping through the night most of the time, so I guess I can't ask for more.


So now, we wait.  I have just over a week until my due date and it still feels unreal that it's this close.  I guess now is the time to make sure I do a few of those things I want to do to prepare for a good birth - praying for a good experience, practicing meditation techniques, doing optimal positioning exercises, stretching, squats, drinking red raspberry leaf tea and that sort of thing!  I just wish this cold would go away now so I'd have more energy for all of that!

Pregnant Again

So, it's happening again! I'm on my second journey through pregnancy.  It's still very early days - I'm only 7 weeks, so I know that it might not work out, so I'm not announcing it widely just yet (hardly anyone reads this blog, so no worries on that front).  It certainly feels quite different the second time around, but first let's talk a bit about the pre-conception period.

From the time our first child, Thomas, was about 3 months old, we started wishing for another child.  He was so sweet and we thought, why wait too long to have another!  We looked into age gaps, pros and cons and decided that 18 months or less as an age gap would be quite nice because the first child would be less likely to experience too much jealousy because he would be too young to remember being an only child. This was one idea we liked, anyway, but by the same token, we were engaged in a project that would make having another child right away a bit challenging and we weren't sure how we'd cope.  So, in the end, nature made it easy for us.  Basically, I couldn't have fallen pregnant much earlier than I did because until recently, I wasn't even fertile.

 I was breastfeeding Thomas full time until he was 8 months. We introduced solids at that time and even at that time, he was still subsisting primarily on breast milk, having just a few spoonfuls of food every other day at first. He wasn't eating three solid meals a day until 12 or 13 months.  This, and the fact that until a few days ago, he was also still feeding often at night, is probably why I didn't get my period back until Thomas was 14 months old (a part from an initial one at 6 weeks, which I've heard can be anovulatory).

 I'd read that it could take three cycles or more after menstruation returns to actually become fertile - that is, for you to ovulate and also have a few other things that would support pregnancy.  So, once we were in a place in our lives (and in the world, i.e., back in Australia!) where we thought it would be okay to start trying, I was curious to see if I was actually ovulating.  We bought an ovulation predictor test kit and that helped me reassure myself that I was fertile.  We used that for one month without trying, actually, partly because I wanted more time to prepare my body for pregnancy - get those pelvic floor muscles in shape and eat better food that would support a healthier microbiome! I did a fair bit of research about preconception diets, because I realized that that can have quite an impact on health.  I had been trying to eat well for a while, but in reality, no major dietary changes took place and then we started trying the next cycle.  The plan was also to use the ovulation predictor test to help use the "Shettles Method" of sex selection to try for a girl.

According to Dr. Shettles, insemination on different days of the menstrual cycle results in different gender ratios.  He proposed that you were more likely to conceive a girl if you have sex often leading up to ovulation, but stop two days or so before ovulation.  This is so that the slower swimming, but longer living 'female' sperm will still be there by the time the egg descends, whereas the faster swimming, but shorter lived 'male' sperm will have died out by the time ovulation occurs.  If you want to try for a boy, than it is theorized that you should have sex only at ovulation.  This theory was popular in the 1970's, but is now considered to be untrue.  But, hey, we thought we'd give it a go.  That was, until we had a couple of days where we were busy and couldn't do it, and wondered whether we may have stopped too soon and missed our opportunity for pregnancy completely (for that cycle), so we decided to do it again on ovulation day.  I told my mum about all this and, being an avid believer in the Shettles method, she's decided we're having a boy!  Oh well.  We're perfectly fine with that possibility.  We love boys too!  Anyway, we'll have to wait and see when he/she's born!  That's right, born!  I'm hoping to wait this time as I hear it can be a wonderful experience to discover the sex of the baby at birth! Hopefully an ultrasound technician won't spoil the surprise at some point!

So, after the infamous 'two-week wait' (which I handled a lot better this time round), I did a test and saw a second very faint, but still visible, line, indicating pregnancy! We were very excited that our efforts had had the desired result.  For the next two weeks, I was feeling pretty good health-wise.  Still energetic and no nausea yet.  This didn't worry me, as it did last time, because I know now that nausea doesn't usually turn up until 6 weeks.  And, anyway, it doesn't have to turn up either!  But, sure enough, morning sickness did start to appear at 6 weeks.  Not too severely.  I have only vomited two or three times and I still feel quite well for large chunks of the day as long as I eat regularly, rest enough and get some exercise and fresh air.  The exercise part seems surprising, because that's not what you feel like doing when nauseous, but apparently it really helps your body process the extra estrogen floating around the system, which is probably to blame for the nausea.  I've also noticed that taking my prenatal supplements makes me much more nauseous, so I've stopped taking them for the last few days. My mum says she has a condition whereby she doesn't absorb many vitamins from supplements and this may be the case for me too?  I'm not really sure what to do about this because I'm not sure my diet is rich enough to go without supplementation.

I also mentioned rest.  It's a bit harder to rest whenever I want when I have a toddler to chase!  He wants me to pick him up, play games with him and take him out to the park and this can get challenging if I'm really feeling sick. All in all, though, I think those things are good for me because it forces me to be active.  I'm also quite lucky that he usually has a long 3 hour nap in the day and I can usually sleep at that time.  At night, up until recently, Thomas would be breastfed to sleep and then when he woke up, anywhere from midnight to 3am, I would take him to bed with me and breastfeed him any time he woke up.  This was working quite well for us until one night.  The nausea was particularly bad, I was tired and it was hot and at that moment, breastfeeding just made the nausea came on stronger such that I had to leave a crying Thomas in his cot and go and vomit.  My husband, Lessan, took over for the rest of the night.  Thomas cried a lot since I think he was distressed wondering what happened to his mummy, but since that night, we continued the regime of Daddy taking over night-time duty and Thomas has adapted very well to this (being night-weaned).  He drinks some water from a bottle every now and then and is starting to sleep better.  We hope that we can encourage him to sleep through the night, at least by the time his sibling arrives!

Thomas is still breastfeeding in the day, but far less than before (maybe three or four times) and I have noticed that in the last week my supply has plummeted - probably a combination of pregnancy hormones and the sudden night-weaning.  I had hoped that I'd be able to breastfeed him until he's 2, maybe more, but we've gotten at least this far (20 months), which is not bad, and I think we'll make it further.

In terms of how I feel emotionally about this pregnancy, I feel a lot more relaxed than last time.  I'm not rushing to the Doctor's office to confirm that I'm pregnant.  I'm pretty sure that's the case because I still haven't had a period and certainly have all the symptoms. I'll see one eventually, but I'm taking my time for now.  Last time, I rushed to find a caregiver and, given the situation in Bosnia, I ended up with an OB-GYN who convinced me I needed an ultrasound at 6 weeks to confirm that the baby was in the uterus and not elsewhere (ectopic pregnancy) and then had another reason to do an ultrasound every few weeks after that!  This time I am having minimal ultrasounds!

I'm also looking forward to having the baby more this time.  Last time, everything was novel and I was savouring the experience of pregnancy (mostly once the nausea had subsided).  I was also pretty scared of the birth and also of becoming a mother and not knowing what to expect, so I was happy for the baby to take its time gestating.  This time, though I still have some fears perhaps, I'm much more relaxed about those things and therefore feel a bit more impatient about how long the pregnancy is going to take (that is if it is a viable pregnancy after all!).

I would definitely like to have more of a spiritual aspect for this newly created being to draw from too!  In fact, I need that in general.  It's being harder to keep up with prayers and reading since Thomas has been around, but I really should find more creative ways to make that happen since he is certainly more independent and I have more help around me now, too!

I guess that's about it for now.  We'll see when/if I get to give another update!